Science-Backed Ways to Increase Intimacy with Your Partner


Every long-term relationship will, sooner or later, come to a point where the fire that has once burned hot and uncontrollably, begins to fade away and turn into a steady, but unexciting flicker. It’s only natural after a long time together and nothing to be afraid of, as long as the two of you understand that emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy in your relationship is something that needs quite a bit of maintenance work.

In the beginning, sex and intimacy are things that you don’t even pay attention to. They just occur as if they always have and always will be present between you and your partner. Getting down to it in the bedroom during that stage of the relationship is as spontaneous and effortless as using a sex doll.

However, this almost never lasts longer than the initial “honeymoon phase“, and if you let that connection dissipate without putting in any effort to keep it alive, your relationship can easily turn from a steamy affair into a little more than a convenient roommate arrangement.

Whether it’s chatting them up by asking inappropriate, flirty questions or staging a romantic dinner, taking the time to get intimate with your partner can go a long way in keeping the fire of your love alive. If you’re struggling to come up with these gestures on your own, just keep reading! We’ve prepared a couple of tips and guidelines to help you maintain relationship intimacy.

Be Spontaneous…

Many relationships start out as these wonderful, spontaneous affairs, where both people are equally excited by each other’s presence and relish the opportunities to get to know one another. It is also a time when couples surprise each other in different unpredictable ways.

Once you’re together for a while, or maybe after you’ve moved in together, this kind of spontaneity is impossible to maintain. This is why you should sometimes work to bring back these moments, either by sweeping your partner off their feet and having sex somewhere other than the bed or simply by taking them out on a romantic date in the middle of the week. There are plenty of other ways to go about it, but the key is to surprise your lover in order to rekindle your sexual and emotional intimacy.

…or Don’t

Depending on the character of your significant other, as well as your own, spontaneity might be the last thing the two of you need to restore intimacy in your relationship. Your life may lack structure, due to work, kids, or other circumstances, and unexpected sexual advances or breaking up your day to go out together may be the last thing you need.

In these cases, it’s important to add some sort of structure to your lives. One of the areas where it is easiest and most beneficial to do so is in the bedroom. It sounds like the least romantic thing in the world, but planning and scheduling sex may help you rediscover your bodies all over again and restore physical intimacy, which is crucial for any happy couple to maintain.

Other options include turning every Friday or Saturday night into date night. It will help you focus on each other and have a real, intimate conversation, far away from the distractions of everyday life.

Touch Each Other Often

It’s common knowledge that pulling your face muscles and forcing yourself to smile can trick your brain into releasing chemicals responsible for the feelings of actual happiness. It shouldn’t come as a surprise then, that touching each other frequently will reignite your physical intimacy and improve your connection on every level. It can be something as simple as frequently holding hands — as long as it means that you touch each other often, you’re doing it right. Not only does it feel good, but it can also lead to rediscovering your kinks and preferences when it comes to your sex lives!

Stay Connected Throughout the Day

A lot of couples live life as if they were roommates, especially in the more advanced stages during relationships. In the morning, they leave the house for their respective jobs, only to talk to each other again in the afternoon, most likely about something as mundane as the bills, groceries, or what to eat for dinner.

If you want to break out of that routine, you should put in the effort to communicate with your partner while the two of you are out of the house. Things like texting each other cute messages or leaving notes for your partner to find when they get back home can all improve your emotional intimacy and make you fall in love with each other all over again.

The Bottom Line

When it comes to restoring physical and emotional intimacy, the time you spend away from each other is as important as the moments when you’re together. In order to increase the intensity of the love you feel for one another, it is crucial to spend some time apart and have a life outside of this relationship. Don’t abandon your friends and hobbies for the sake of your beloved. If you spend every waking second with your partner, chances are you’re going to get sick of each other really fast, which can only work to the detriment of your relationship.